It is has been one month since Aimee died. We made it through her memorial service, which was a looming event. Our kind community supported us through the day and we had a truly beautiful weekend with family. And now we are here on the other side. There is still a deep hole in my chest. I ache to be with her. Little moments throughout each day cause me to start jumping up to Aimee, a tone that for a millisecond alerts like an alarm, a glance to check her numbers, a sound that could be Aimee’s movement. Our family is incomplete, missing a key piece. And trying to help us all navigate the trauma is messy. The way that children grieve is unique, rarely straightforward, and the behaviors are surprising. It is uncertainty, it is anxiety, withdrawing, clinging, short tempers, old habits, hiding, fear, avoidance, lack of focus, guilt. To be honest, there are surprising behavioral reactions in us as well. This grief is so much more varied than I expected.
We miss Aimee.
If you didn’t get to join us Saturday for Aimee’s memorial, we were able to get a private link to the recording up on youtube: https://youtube.com/live/YpqaU0usTG0
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We love to read your comments and encouragements! Messages to Aimee are always welcome too. I will definitely read them to her. :)
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