4.16.26 Aimee’s Last Earth Day

To begin with you must understand that we didn’t know this would be the last day. We knew that Aimee was getting closer, fading, but each day was a slow step and so we expected more slow steps. It was a beautiful day and part of its beauty was in the slowness, the unawareness of how little time we had. 

We canceled our plans for the day. It felt that we needed to be close. Ed and I had turns sleeping with Aimee through Thursday night. We cared for her together on Friday morning. In the late morning, a harpist volunteering through hospice came. She played her smaller size harp in Aimee’s room while watching Aimee’s face and keeping time to her breath. Each of us created art or wrote letters to Aimee while hearing the music. It was a sweet experience. 

We spent all day around Aimee, just being with her. She was slightly responsive. Raising her eyebrows in response to conversation. Her heart rate was highly erratic though and her temperature was oddly (for her) high, climbing through the whole day. 

In the afternoon, we did one of Aimee’s favorite activities together, a family chocolate facial. We used her special products. For a few of us, it was a first experience letting the cocao face mask pull dry on our cheeks. Lots of laughter. 

In the evening, we set up a table at the end of Aimee’s bed and played a game of 5 crowns. Louisa insisted that Aimee and her were on a team, showing her the cards as we went along. We took what would be our last family selfie together there. I spoke aloud my gratitude to be surrounded by our 5 children. 

Partway through the game we paused. It was 9:30pm and I felt strongly that each of the kids should have time one-on-one with Aimee before bed just in case. They each took turns alone with her saying goodbye and sharing their art/letters from that morning. Because we didn’t know it was so near to the end, we didn’t rush them. I am eternally grateful for the gentle, peaceful pace of that evening. At 11pm Caleb was the final sibling. As he finished his time, he didn’t want to leave her. We talked around her bed with him for a bit. Her heart rate had rapidly climbed and the pulse ox was struggling to pick up the rhythm it was so faint. We told him that we were going to put her in her favorite position and maybe her heart rate would come down some. 

Once Caleb left, Ed read her the letter he had written that morning while we each held her hands. We started doing midnight cares and placed her on her left side. We were both with her, both felt for her soft quick pulse. I took her temperature and it had soared so so high. Our hands were both on her as her heart beat stopped. 

There are so many little details about her final moments and day that we will keep sacred in our hearts, but I wanted to share a glimpse of how sweet it was that last day. We could never have laid it out better as a final day here for Aimee than it was. And dear Aimee, she was so gracious, as generously present as she had the capacity to be throughout her entire life and especially throughout her death. She let her light shine. She stayed purposefully through each sibling's time, waiting for Ed and I to be alone together with her. And now, she is shining her beautiful starlight into eternity. 

Aimee with her siblings a couple weeks earlier. 5 precious gifts.