12.17.15 Pre-op

I am sitting in pre-op appts with Aimee today. Feeling nauseous. This is real. I had a crazy inclination not to turn the van into the hospital parking garage earlier. If we run away, she won't need this surgery, right? If we just don't come in, it won't happen. And then, she won't go through all of this pain. And then... She will be in pain for the rest of her life... Jesus, help me to be strong enough to bring Aimee here to go through all of this pain to avoid future pain. Help. 

Coming in Tuesday morning. She will have general anesthesia and nerve block local anesthesia as well. She will have a bed in ICU for the first 24 hours and then move over to the surgical floor. I know I will be scared and I know she will be in pain. Hope that the lack of surprise makes the times calmer. 

Had a spinal traction xray just now. First time pulling her by her legs and shoulders to see how straight she could be. X-ray still came back with a 43 degree thorasic curve. Not what any of us were expecting. She seemed so flexible. Ortho doc says surgery to add growth rods would be kind of unorthodox, but once she hits 50 degrees we'll need to act. 

I just signed a surgery consent form that said Aimee's condition is cerebral palsey. Some times there is no point in arguing particulars. 

Pleasantly surprised that they will not use a spica cast, but a brace instead for the first 6 weeks at least. Easier to care for. Extra padding included for washing purposes! She will still end with a lower cast on her left calf though. 

Surgery will be 4 parts: leg bones cut, angle added, and aligned with plates; thigh muscle lengthened; calf muscle lengthened; and hip socket released, rotated, and grafted bone added. Somewhere around 5-6 hours total. 

Labs taken to confirm pre-operative levels and blood type in case of tranfusions. ICU bed booked. Time set, anesthesia approved, and now the courage to follow through.

Made it back to snuggle with brothers tonight. Rough day for Aimee was merely a test run.