11.19.14 So This Is Love

"Love her."

This the specific direction I'm given.  When I am at a loss, desperately in prayer, wondering how to mother Aimee, these are the words I hear. Yet, I still get bogged down. What does this mean? How can I do this grand task? What big gesture should I perform? 

Then, as I go about her cares, a song comes to mind. I continually find myself singing it while I change a diaper, while I clean the suction machine, while I respond to middle of the night alarms. 

So this is love
Mmhmm mmhmm
So this is love
So this is what makes life divine.
I'm all aglow
Mmhmm mmhmm
And now I know
The key to all heaven is mine.
My heart has wings
Mmhmm mmhmm
And I can fly
I'll touch every star in the sky.
So this is the miracle 
that I've been dreaming of
So this is love.

Simple song from Cinderella, but it comes to my heart and reminds me that my divine task is to touch heaven with simple, daily care.


11.8.14 Clinical Update

Aimee has met with numerous doctors since I last detailed an appointment, but there are two clinics with significant findings.

As I have mentioned before, Aimee has been having significant desaturation episodes during sleep which her bipap machine has not been relieving. The doctors have attempted different pressure settings and an updated mask. Next we are going to try a new piece of equipment that is more sensitive. Thankfully this has just been approved through insurance. As soon as we get that adjusted, we will take her in for another sleep study. Her Pulmonologist team are all concerned as these episodes were not happening during prior studies. We may need to consider another sedated MRI of Aimee's brain to determine if there are signs of degeneration. 

Another continued challenge has been with bowel movements and the GI clinic. After many attempts at typical laxatives, enimas, and stimulants, we are finding that Aimee's brain is just not signaling her body that it needs to be emptied. Her muscle tone being low also makes it very difficult to maximize any urges that she may have anyways. We are currently implenting a new regimen that will take about an hour each evening. It includes catheters, homemade gravity enimas, and time on the toilet. It is that last bit that is the tricky business. Due to added volume with the enima and the more ideal position of the toilet, we have to find a way to have her sit on the toilet for 30-40 minutes each day. Honestly, this is just crazy, but, Ed and I are going to attempt making a contraption to help hold her. :/ 

I am pleased to report that Aimee has been incredibly healthy otherwise, aside from numerous UTIs. Her immune system is greatly improved this season thus far. Such a blessing! 

Plus, she has been getting lots of snuggle time lately! Sure love these dears. 

11.13.14

A day of clean up and scary looking spills. 

Aimee has been a little sick, but today she has really frightened me by choking on blood multiple times, as well as, having blood in her stomach contents and covering her sweet face. All her vitals are decent and I am hopeful that she is just having nose bleeds. Poor girlie! Please pray for the bleeding to stop.