2.26.14 Aimee Ballerina


That night, as gentle snowflakes twirled in time through the air, 
an angelic girl took her first tiny dance steps. 
In the shimmer of early morning or buried in black midnight, 
Aimee has loved to dance since that first moment of her life. She is a ballerina.


 The calendar now marks 5 years and Aimee continues her secret steps. 


No one on earth has seen her pirouettes. She feels the world rushing by. 
The people passing see her pretty face and hear her twinkling laugh.


Many of these people love Aimee ballerina and hold her close inside, 
but none truly know how much she loves to dance. 


 Day after day Aimee ties the ribbons on her special ballet shoes. 
She twirls. She sometimes spins until her heart bursts into beads of laughter. 
At times a passerby will slow or even stop to listen. 
Though they cannot see the graceful steps, a tiny bead begins to form inside their chest. 
The longer they listen to Aimee, the more enraptured they become. 
Soon the bead stretches and bursts. A joyful dance begins again.


Slow and listen. 
Aimee ballerina will spread seeds of joy to any open heart.


Happy 5th birthday to my dancing Aimee.
My heart has learned so many steps from yours.

2.25.14 On The Mend

This will be random and disorganized, as I have a few different items to share. Bear with me!

Aimee is recovering steadily. Last night I got a glimpse of her sweet little knowing smirk. How much I love those moments of connection! Now that this sickness is moving into history, I can update about the appointments and meetings we had two weeks ago.

Ophthalmology clinic: One of our least favorite. They are notoriously difficult to schedule and consistently take several hours for a simple clinic visit. This is that same department that without warning put Aimee and I in a dark room, strapped a large camara to her head while they spun us around in circles in a chair as a screen of lit stripes displayed around us. It is a place of horrors I tell you.

Although I scheduled the appointment to further discuss Aimee's frequently infected and constantly seeping eyes, they retested her vision. When I say they retested her vision... I mean they took giant flashcards and whipped them quickly around in front of her face. No offense to ophthalmologists. I am sure for a typical kid with a vision impairment, their methods would be successful... For Aimee... You could hardly do worse. The doctor commented that her eye movements seemed random and uncontrolled. To me it seemed that Aimee was trying really hard to look at the flashcards, but with it only being left for a half a second in each place, she was always two steps behind.

Based on a test (VEP) done when she was an infant, they feel that her vision itself is decent. They were able to determine that the information travels from her eye to the vision cortex. The output, however, they see as completely sporadic at best. Admittedly, she does not have a lot of control over her muscle movements. Similar to the other parts of her body, she does not do well coordinating the information her senses provide with appropriate responding movements. The doctor claimed that she had no control over her eye movements at all. Really I don't think that they give Aimee enough credit. She may be very limited in her control, but she does have some ability. At the very minimum, she tries really hard and deserves the credit for that.

Pulmonary sleep clinic: They were very impressed with her average of 5 hours a night on bipap. A little curious about our other sleep arrangements (ie. weighted blanket). :) Not all doctors are willing to think outside the box.

School: Aimee's IEP meeting was fun. How often do those words happen together? I'm guessing it is rare. Because we have declined most of the available therapy options, our meeting was only attended by one therapist, her teacher, and us. All people who love Aimee, who delight in her. It was really fun to hear them excitedly discuss their times with her. Our primary conversation was about the transition to kindergarten this fall, which means a new school, new teachers, new nurse, ect. Hoping to go visit the class soon. 

Tomorrow is Aimee's big day! She already got to open one present-an iPad holder that clamps onto her chair. Just in this last two days she has gone from occasionally looking at the screen to focusing on it and even touching it with her right hand. FUN!
PS. I am still finishing up her books and would love to have your birthday wishes or note included. If you haven't yet sent it over, please do so by Friday! (edr2005@gmail.com)

2.19.14 Update

Spent yesterday in the children's ER. We needed help getting her seizure meds to stay down and keeping her hydrated. She wasn't able to keep even the tiniest drops in her stomach. Thankfully we were given to the option to bring her home once she was stable. She is quite out of it, but with the new anti-nausea meds she is keeping a slow, steady rate of fluids. Thank you for your prayers!

2.18.14 When Sickness Strikes

...it's vicious. It's been a long night of unsuccessfully trying to maintain some fluids. Please pray.

2.16.14 Twelve Years Ago

  “Perhaps, after all, romance did not come into one’s life with pomp and blare, like a gay knight riding down; perhaps it crept to one’s side like an old friend through quiet ways; perhaps it revealed itself in seeming prose, until some sudden shaft of illumination flung athwart its pages betrayed the rhythm and the music, perhaps . . . perhaps . . . love unfolded naturally out of a beautiful friendship, as a golden-hearted rose slipping from its green sheath.”
― L.M. Montgomery
 


Taking a brief break to whisper a secret in your ear. 

I am in love. 



Love unfolding
Waiting for Aimee to come back from surgery





Twelve years ago, on the 16th of February, I stood in a doorway and was smitten by this young man.







 
I was quick to befriend him, barely knowing that I was receiving the best gift of my life in my friend, my husband, my own Ed. The man who daily loves me, who daily gives me grace, who daily plays with his sons, who daily participates in caring for Aimee, will daily have my heart. 










Ed, you are my favorite friend.

2.4.14 We Have Suction!

We made it through the night and are back in business. Thanks to any who prayed!

2.3.14 Aimee Be Good

Our suction machine went on strike tonight. Aimee is somewhat gunky today and has had difficulty with secretions. If you happen to read this post tonight or tomorrow say a little prayer for Aimee to "be good" until we get the machine back in working order.