8.24.12 Thriller

A new first to share with you and yes, it's a thriller. Aimee had one of her extremely sad episodes tonight. She rarely cries (in fact the last time was on the first night of our trip down to San Rafael). When she does, she bawls with her lower lip way out and giant tears running down her sweet face. It is heartbreaking, because I don't ever know what is wrong, but also because there is nothing I can do to make her feel comforted. I hold her, sing to her, and sometimes just cry right along with her. She keeps on crying the same no matter what I do, even if I leave her alone. But tonight was different.

You wouldn't know it if you could see her as she lies now peacefully sleeping draped across my lap, but tonight Aimee was crying louder than I have heard before and just as randomly (went from happily talking and playing while eating dinner to sudden sobbing). When I picked her up, her crying continued. She started to calm down after some time, but when I tried to lay her down to change her into pajamas she sobbed again. I held her for 30-40 minutes and she finally fell asleep. We thought we'd try laying her in bed. Big mistake. She immediately started up again extremely loudly (sorry for waking you up Caleb!). I brought her back in to sit on my lap and after a few minutes, she peacefully fell asleep.

Okay, I realize this doesn't sound very thrilling to you, but for me this is mind blowingly huge. She is peacefully asleep on my lap. She calmed down when I held her and did not want to be put down. That has never happened before. She has never expressed a desire to be held, at all, EVER. This may sound like a typical evening with a child before bedtime. I am telling you though, this is the first time I have, in 3 1/2 years, ever felt that Aimee was expressing a preference to be with me instead of being set down. The first time I was a part of the comfort. I may just spend all night holding her here on the couch.